Happy Michaelmas!

Lismore Doppelganger...

Our thanks to The Inside Guy for this born identity...

The Simpsonovs

Who knew Sideshow Bob was Russian Orthodox?

Mistake

And it isn't even Advent.

BBC Discloses Strange New Papal Ritual

From the BBC website covering the visit of Pope Benedict to Westminster Abbey:

"He also shook incense over the tomb of Edward the Confessor"

We may introduce this ritual into Vespers in the Cloister. Should we put the incense grains into a maraca, perhaps, and shake it during the Magnificat?

Be Part of Our Anniversary Celebrations...

Tomorrow The Cloister celebrates its anniversary... the fourth such event!

As part of those celebrations, and in a first for The Cloister, pilgrims are invited to submit their own article (complete with image/s) for publication on the site.

Not every submission will be published, but rather those which the Chapter consider best represent the unique 'Coo-ees' balance of insider knowledge, rumour, humour and equitable bias will receive special attention.

Ear-marked also for special attention will be those submissions which least represent our work and likely will be the object of shamelessly ridicule with our hallmark degree of charity.

Submissions should be received by noon Sunday week if they hope to be considered...

Who knows, you may even be invited to take up an adjunct noviciate!

Submit here

Helpful terms for understanding the Liturgy

The Holy Father's visit to the UK hasn't quite excited us as much as WYD08 however this release brought back fond memories.

One of these things is not like the others...

A pilgrim alerted us to this piece from the glorious BBC regarding the Papal visit to Britain with the challenge "spot the odd one out."

While we maintain that they are all rather odd, it is interesting which one doesn't seem to belong.

Shotgun Needed for Gay Weddings...

Coo-ee pilgrims... Mother Mirabilis here again!

Well the NSW Parliament voted this week to amend legislation to allow gays to play happy families using somebody else's children.

Not happy it seems with the hand their disordered life style deals them they are pursuing an alleged right to acquire and raise children by whatever means possible. But the question begs should they not be getting married first?

Well leave that to Greens MP Adam Bandt in Melbourne who wants to sit down with the community to formulate an action plan for the next parliamentary term to push for same-sex marriage. Bandt has said his party would push ahead with the introduction of a same-sex marriage amendment bill, but wanted more community feedback on the timing. You see you have to surprise complacent heterosexuals and Christians with such ideas or you may face some opposition and chance failure!

Bandt says the Greens were unsuccessful in securing a deal on gay marriage as part of its agreement with Labor, however, he indicates the issue had been part of behind-the-scenes discussions.

Tasmanian Independent Andrew Wilkie has called for both major parties to allow a conscience vote on same-sex marriage and then of course there is Greens senator Sarah Hanson-Young who vowed to re-introduce her Marriage Equality Bill on the first day of the new Parliament.

Anyone got a shotgun?

Archbishop Moves to Sure Up Support for Collingwood into the Finals!

FOOTY club songs and popular music are not welcome at Catholic funerals under a reiteration of the rubrics sent to priests and funeral directors in the great Archdiocese of Melbourne.

"Secular items are never to be sung or played at a Catholic funeral, such as romantic ballads, pop or rock music, political songs, football club songs,"

The guidelines issued by Archbishop Hart also declare a move away from the secular notion that a funeral is a "celebration" of the deceased's life, rather suggesting the appropriate setting for the secular "celebrations of life" as social occasions before or after the funeral.

Understandably, the Collingwood theme song was one of the most popular requests at funerals with Catholics eager to square the books and make public their support for the team before facing their Creator! But as the Archbishop recognises, the anthem is no swan song!

Bishop Tomlinson, Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Melbourne, noted the main focus of a funeral should be commending the deceased person to God.

"Reminiscences of the events of the deceased person's life, hobbies or football interests are more appropriate for a wake or informal family gathering outside of the funeral,"

As far as some of the Cloistered are concerned there is nothing new in the guidelines, it just gives us the opportunity to say... Go the Pies!!!

After all that political gobbledegook

Now that we've settled that business in Canberra, here's something to ponder on: what the devil does this mean -

"The Faith Development Working Party noted that the development of the human person is always in Christ and with each other. People have an abundant need for face to face accompaniment in their lives and in their faith development, “an accompaniment beyond structures and plans, an enabling accompaniment that puts flesh on the dry bones of management and routines, an accompaniment that breathes life into hoped-for outcomes and retrieves the desire to participate in the journey of world and Church.”

Who would like to guess which Australian diocese the above gobbledegook comes from?

Politicians Like Windsor and Oakeshott Have Got Some Front!

Coo-ee pilgrims... Mother Mirabilis here again!

Much has been said in the last 17 days about who will sit with whom and where in our federal parliament. Mr Oakeshott started out suggesting musical chairs but it seems when the music stopped a lot of people in his electorate have received a rather nasty surprise.

As they say in the classics... Splitter!!

This one's for you Tony Windsor!

Dip of the biretta to Bob Katter MP who may at times seem as mad as a cut snake... but you can't question the man's integrity!

Stand up for Mary Mac

Did anyone else read this in The Age last week and sit completely baffled for a few days? Huh? What makes to author tick? 

The title gives it all away:

Sainthood demeans what Mary MacKillop stood for

Let's start with the last paragraph:

By all means, recognise and pay homage to Mary MacKillop's wonderful work for the needy. But to make her a Catholic saint through a system riddled with misleading notions and dubious outmoded administrative practices demeans the status she deserves.

Then just back up a bit to the previous paragraph.

I dare say Mary MacKillop would be horrified at the immense expenditure and massive carbon footprint associated with trying to attribute miracles to her so she qualifies for sainthood: an opportunity cost that could be well used on the disadvantaged people she worked and fought so hard to help.

Mother Mary of the Cross was concerned about 'climate change'? Oh, I get it. She should be recognised for being an eco-warrior instead of a holy woman in miracles have been performed in her name.

And of course, it wouldn't be Fairfax journalism without a couple of kicks.

But, instead of recognising her work in a way that would widen her appeal as a humanitarian beyond the Catholic faithful, the Vatican set her on the long and convoluted path towards sainthood, for its own ends. The Church needs its stars to prop up a declining following in many Western countries and MacKillop was on her way to saintly fame.

Robert Irwin, I don't know who you are, but surely, you aren't manipulating the story of Blessed Mary MacKillop for your own ends?

With opinions (and writing skills) such as this, you'll sure to go far with Fairfax or, dare I say it, the Josephites.

Coo-ees Now Reverberating Through the Twittersphere...

@CooeesCloister

Happy Father's Day

What became of the WYD Boon...

With all the comments about the dollars and nonsense happening with the Josephites and the canonisation, some in the Cloister are asking what became of the coveted WYD Boon.

Bought sister a nice apartment did it?

Blake Prize... Why Vincent Cut Off His Ear!

Brisbane's Leonard Brown yesterday won the now less than prestigious $20,000 first prize in Australia's annual award for religious art. Brown's allegedly painstaking and deceptively simple abstract painting If You Put Your Ear Close, You'll Hear it Breathing was no doubt a relief choice for judges given the more graphic and controversial works, including Pople's Pedophilia in the Catholic Church.

Poples provocative creation - features a headless Roman Catholic cardinal towering over the interior of one of Venice's baroque churches, surrounded by images of the Virgin Mary's innocence. In the cardinal's lap, pieta like, an unsavoury image of an altar boy allegedly depicting the offering of innocence to the figure of religious authority.

The method Brown uses (and this is apparantly significant to its success), alla prima, involves working quickly while the oil paint stays wet, which makes the precision of his brushwork all the more remarkable. Brown says there is a direct connection between the pure abstraction of his private work and the tradition of Russian iconography he has studied since he was 25. In what some might call more of a confession than an insight Brown says ''Modernism was one of the great contributions Russian emigres who fled during the time of the Russian Revolution injected into Western art''.

Sasha Grishin, the Sir William Dobell Professor of Art History at the Australian National University, was one of three judges. The others are Father Andrew Bullen, the rector of St Ignatius College, Riverview, and the artist Maria Fernanda Cardoso.

According to the Sydney website, as if by providence the Cardinal later today "presides at a liturgy and blessing of the plaque in the Dalton Chapel at St Ignatius' College, Riverview."

Perhaps he and Fr Bullen might use the opportunity to discuss the artistic virtues of glass altars and oversized garden ornamentation in sanctuary settings; or even the contrast between minimalism and clutter!

C'mon +George, +Anthony, +Pat, +Geoffrey, +Michael ... somebody!

That political pillar of self-effacing aCatholicism NSW Premier Kristina Keneally says she will support legislation to allow same-sex couples in NSW to adopt children.

Keneally said she had considered the gospel, her observations of same sex parents and her own experiences of parental love both as a child and a mother. "In considering all of that, I must, in my conscience, support this legislation," she told parliament.

So where are our bishops in defending their charge the Gospels... and for that matter just where does the theologically qualified heretic Keneally recommend we look in them for the green light on gay adoption and some insght in to her disordered conscience?

Is this the "new evangelisation" at work?

Moore aCatholic Crap!

Coo-ees pilgrims... Mother Mirabilis here again!

NSW Community Services Minister Linda Burney said only about 20 local adoptions took place in NSW last year and yet tonight the NSW Parliament commenced to debate a bill for an Act to amend the Adoption Act 2000 to enable couples of the same sex to adopt children and to make related amendments to the Anti-Discrimination Act 1977 and certain other legislation at the instigation of allegedly Catholic MP, Clover Moore.

"It's about giving legal recognition to the vital relationship that children have with their parents regardless of their parents' sexuality," Moore argues, saying she agreed to amendments "against her strong belief", allowng church adoption agencies the right to refuse services to gay and lesbian couples without breaching anti-discrimination laws.

Surely the dysfuntional Kenneally Government in NSW have more important legislative matters to debate than Clover's aCatholic crap - even if their Premier, another self professed aCatholic, is a fan. Afterall isn't their state government crumbling around their ears as their ministers watch pornography on parliament computers, extort the public purse, attend gay men's clubs and have their sordid little affairs!