The 50 year old...

That hairy chested, buff, board shorts-wearing Opposition Leader is stirring the pot again.

The media has been entirely predictable and has almost condemned girls and women who keep, or even aim to keep their virginity sacred until marriage. Well, kind of. (I'm assuming pilgrims are aware of Abbott's comments about a girl's virginity being a gift...)

But it has got MPs discussing morality. Or rather discussing Abbott's.

Rather predictably, that champion of women's causes, Julia Gillard, came out first.

"Australian women don't want to be told what to do by Tony Abbott. Australian women want to make their own choices and they don't want to be lectured to by Mr Abbott."

Julia dear, Mr Abbott wasn't lecturing. He was passing on the advice he'd obviously given his own teenage daughters.

Finally Kevin made an appearance. It is hard to imagine that the Christian Socialist himself could hold a view any different to Tony on this one. We waited, pondering what advice Kevin had given his daughter?

I shouldn't have expected anything different. A nonsense answer skirting the real question.

"My personal position is that it's your right as a fellow Australian and your listeners' rights as fellow Australians to make their own private personal decision on these moral matters," he said.

"That's my position... if Mr Abbott has a different view, that's a matter for him.

"My view is that these are decisions which are best made and properly made individually and personally by the folk concerned... taking the advice of friends, family, mums, dads.

"That's the way these things should be approached; that's my policy, that's my personal approach; that's the one I've applied to my own family as well."

Non-committal. You can't seriously tell me that Rudd the Christian-nerd encouraged his beautiful daughter to do anything but treat her virginity as a precious gift?

One thing is for sure no-one can accuse Tony of being a hypocrite - he has repeatedly put that on the record himself for years.

Not being terrible into the pop culture there isn't a Cloister subscription to Women's Weekly. But we are curious if the editors put the age old question to him: How far is too far?

Cloister Caption Contest

Something new from Cardinal O'Muddley of Boston.

Happy Australia Day Catholics

There's been a bit of a hoo-har about the flag this week. So if, and only if, we HAVE to change our national flag and remove the crosses of St George, St Andrew and St Patrick, I'd like to propose the following:

Animal House

We here in The Cloister always thought it odd that the 'master of lost causes,' Malcolm Turnbull, has a dedicated blog on his pet dogs on his website. Yet we never expected that Kevin747 would dip into even more preposterous attempts at pretending to be doing something by trying to promote his pets. At least the Emperor Caligula was honest enough to simply try and have his horse elected a senator.

While The Age reports on the blessings of Animals in Mexico we are shocked that those at Mary Mackillop place didn't hold an animal benediction just so Jasper and Abbey could get some media attention and Kevin747 could be photographed in a church with his two new four legged policy advisors.

However it seems that Kevin is far too superstitious for that - there is no way his animals were going to be blessed on the feast of Anthony Abbott! We assume he is waiting for the feast of St Francis of Assisi instead.

Timely Quote

For all you laymen thinking about being more charitable in the New Year, particularly towards our bishops, here is a poignant quote for you, care of Evelyn Waugh in his novel Decline and Fall.

Are you quite sure he is right in the head? I have noticed again and again since I have been in the Church that lay interest in ecclesiastical matters is often a prelude to insanity.

But don't listen to us.

"Thank you so much for taking the trouble to write."

Yeah, right.....

....Because these are exactly the people the Vatican should listen to about the liturgy:

Tom Knowles SSS Priest Melbourne Australia
Fr Anthony McSweeney Religious Melbourne Australia
Denis Scanlan Priest Brisbane Australia
Verna M. Hayes Religious Adelaide Australia
William Burston Priest Maitland-Newcastle Australia
Joseph Barbara mssp Priest Sydney Australia
Chris Dixon Priest Parramatta Australia
Brian Mathews Priest Port Pirie Australia
Geoff Mulhearn Priest Maitland-Newcastle Australia
Anthony Egar Priest Sydney Australia
Michael Fallon MSC Priest Canberra-Goulburn ACT Australia
Robert Borg Priest Broken Bay Australia
Brian Hart Priest Sydney Australia
Jack Robson Priest Broken Bay Australia
A. J. Lowes Priest Adelaide Australia
Gregory Burke Priest Wollongong Australia
Gerry Iverson Priest Parramatta Australia
Peter Maher Priest Sydney Australia
Paul McCabe Priest Armidale Australia
Bernard Moylan Priest Wagga Wagga Australia
Brian F Egan Priest Sydney australia
Frank O'Dea Priest Melbourne Australia
Jim Littleton MSC Priest Canberra-Goulburn Australia
John P Woods Priest Maitland newcastle Australia
Ian McGinnity Priest Parramatta Australia
Leo Francis Donnelly Priest Lismore Australia
John Pickering Priest Wollongong Australia
John Boyle Priest Parramatta Australia
Joseph Sobb SJ Priest Broken Bay Australia
Brendan J. Kelly SJ Priest Broken Bay Australia
John Frauenfelder Priest Wagga Wagga Australia
Nick Lucas ofm Priest Sydney Australia
Stephen Bliss ofm Priest Melbourne Australia
Norbert Pittorino Priest Sydney Australia
Fr Mario Debattista ofm Priest Sydney Australia
Fr Keith Keegan OFM Priest Sydney Australia
Gerald O'Collins, s.j. Priest Melbourne Australia
Mchael Roohan Priest Lismore Australia
Peter Cantwell OFM Priest Franciscan Province of Holy Spirit Australia
JOHN BOYD-BOLAND Priest ORDER OF FRIARS MINOR AUSTRALIA
Brian Lester OFM Priest Brisbane Australia
C F Fowler Priest Dominican Australia
Patricia Kennedy Religious Sydney Australia
Sheila Quonoey Religious Parramatta NSW Australia
Jeffrey Calligan Religious Melbourne Australia
Dr Carmel Pilcher rsj Religious Maitland-Newcastle Australia
Susan Smith Religious Brisbane Australia
Thomas Kearney Religious Actively retired religious Australia
Joan Winter OP Religious Melbourne Australia
Larelle Laverty Religious Lismore Australia
Paul Smith Religious Sydney Australia
Terry O'Neill ofm Religious Ballarat Australia
dina cavazzini Religious Sydney Australia
Elizabeth Hepburn IBVM Religious Melbourne Australia
Francine Roberts Religious Ballarat Australia
Margaret Smith Religious Melbourne Australia
Bernadette Gauthier Religious Melbourne Australia
Theo Rush Religious Province of Holy Spirit in Australia etc. Australia

These are the Australian (clerical and religious) signatories to the "wait" petition on the new English translation of the Mass. Perhaps readers can advise: are any of them under 60 years of age? I thought at least one of them was dead.

The Calendar Boys

Do you remember those fine ladies of the Country Womens' Association who bared all for a calendar to raise money? Well, the idea has been adopted (sort of) by the new Archbishop of Westminster, +Vincent Nichols who is peddling Westminster Liturgical Calendars at $12 a pop of him and his fellow priests photographed in off-duty mode... thankfully clothed however!

Each month one of the priests explains in a few words why he decided to enter religious life, and then proceeds to tell us what he would do if he weren't in the church.

The archbishop, for example, says that if he wasn't an archbishop he'd probably be a lorry driver or a French horn player, which strikes us as being a strange combination of ambitions.

Mr October, Monsignor Martin Hays (see picture above) says he would probably be running a gastro-pub. Another of his colleagues can be seen seated regally in a box at the opera house, while another seems happy just to strum his guitar.

We won't even guess at the ambition of the gentle-looking prelate who is photographed surrounded by a bevy of elderly nuns!

Maybe next year we can have a Sydney or melbourne Diocesan Calendar. Now let me see. +Pell as a rugby football forward, +Hart as a.... well we thought we might leave the rest up to you, being the smart pilgrims that you are.

Pollies in Print

So Kevin Rudd has written a story book - Jasper and Abby and the Great Australia Day Kerfuffle - following in the footsteps of G.W. Bush.

Some of us in the Cloister are wondering just how much time our workaholic PM spent co-writing this book for pre-schoolers, and what motivated him.

Was it that now Opposition Leader Tony Abbott already had a book for grown-ups on the shelves, and Mr Rudd had to pen something that would outsell his rival?

Or is he already executing his election strategy for 2025? Sure fits into his timeframes for action on climate change and economic productivity...

Forgiveness

Mehmet Ali Agca is to be freed today after 3 decades in prison.

Great Expectations...

Well the storm appears to have blown over following the +Fisher appointment to Parramatta, although expectation on the other hand is gaining momentum as the various quarters of the 'one' true church adopt their considered posture on where the new man sits on liturgy, music, and matters theological. Is he a 'Rome' man or a 'thinking' Catholic (as if you cant be a thinking Catholic and an obedient one too!).

Rumour is that the Cathnews website (where Brian Coyne has/had a finger) fired the first shot when it decided news of the appointment of the Sydney Auxiliary to Parramatta not sufficietly newsworthy for its Monday morning edition. It had to be coerced we are told into running a special edition to deal with the appointment later that day.

Meanwhile speculation is rife about the new bishop uping cathedra to Blacktown; the number of Sydney/Melbourne staff who will likely follow to Parramatta and whether some close to Brian Coyne will still have jobs in the new world order?

Fisher's appointment to Parramatta might be described as a bit of a Bildungsroman for the Diocese as it certainly will be for him. At 49 it is hard to imagine that he will remain there for the next 26yrs. What commentators may speculate of his period as Ordinary, it will nevertheless be a long, arduous and gradual maturation involving repeated clashes between our principle character (or for some our hero) and the views and judgments enforced by an unbending and aggressive post-concillior order which has established itself in that diocese as in other parts of the Church.

+Fisher arrives at a time of significant change in the Church with the inevitable 'reform of the reform' unable to be delayed further. Pope Benedict is proving increasingly keen to get his house in order so he can with confidence invite lost family home to the fold. In this environment the rhetoric of Coyne and his aCatholic associates is meaningless. Their's is an error of supreme arrogance laid bare yet again by Coyne recenly when he identiifed the fundamental divisive issue for the institution today as...

"two incompatible views of seeing the "believing community" constituted in its unity 'top-down from Rome', or, 'bottom-up from what the Spirit is saying through all people'. The 'unity' comes via this complex process of discernment through the structure whereby the community leaders (in our case bishops) pass up what the Spirit seems to be saying through ALL of the people and then, through the structure (the true Body of Christ), we discern what the consensus is about what is conveyed. It's a very different picture to this one held by the minority where "the truth" is believed to be conveyed down exclusively via the leaders.

Unlike the good Mr Coyne here in The Cloister we recognise the Spirit at work both in those who comprise the Apostolic succession of the Church (as established by Christ) and in those who join them in the vineyard, the People of God. These acts of the Spirit are no more mutually exclusive than they are inferior to the other. However, when one gives themself over to the act of discerning the Spirit's intention as does Coyne and others of the Collins Mix, the faithful should appreciate it if the experience of 2000yrs was preferred to the 50 or more that these post conilliar museum types have to offer.

One thing more divisive in a relationship than any other is expectation. Let us satisfy ourselves that the Church in Parramatta has a new Bishop -a gift by any measure!

And if we are to pray for this new bishop, may it be that his new bride surrenders herself to him completely in the same way that we expect he will no doubt surrender himself to her... ugly as she is!

Terms of Endearment

"Hag" and "Witch" are really terms of "reverence", according to Sr Joan Chittester in her tribute to the late feminist May Daly.

Not on this planet, Joan, but maybe where you come from.

Have You Cringed Yet Today?

No? This might help:

Ecumenism in Melbourne

It's certainly not a recent event (half of these clergy have been cited in Rome in recent weeks) but we couldn't help but again note the ecumenical flavour that's hit Melbourne.



Ut omnes unum sint, sicut Tu, Pater, in me et ego in te, ut et ipsi in nobis unum sint; ut credat mundus quia Tu me misisti.

...

Virtual Christianity?

The Austraian reported earlier this week that a 'Service for the Blessing of Electronic Comminication Devices' has been held in London.

"The congregation at St Lawrence Jewry in the City of London raised their mobiles and iPods above their heads and Canon Parrott raised his voice to the heavens to address the Lord God of all Creation. "May our tongues be gentle, our e-mails be simple and our websites be accessible," he said."

While The Cloister are obviously not entirely adverse to such blessings or information technology, some here could not help but have a chuckle.

While "great efforts have been made to modernise the Church of England" it seems that one does wonder whether the good Canon Parrott is blessing these items in lieu of actual congregants. Perhaps the 'Smartphone' is a much better alternatice to 'notsosmartanglicans.'

While the C of E may be happy with simply virtual Christians one wonders whether this is an indication of what The Cloister have frequently pondered - that the Archbeard of Cantebury is actually a Robot.

"Operation Eel"

From

to

How Aquatic.

Clergy Conference Candy

for the kids.



There were far too many Where's Withoos? moments at the NLM, Orbis Catholicvs & The Hermeneutic of Continuity last week thanks to the ACCC-organised Clergy Conference in Rome.

Familiar faces, a distinct lack of birettas and and never enough photos can sum up The Cloistered's experiences last week, along with a lot of bruised arms as we played a Punch Buggy-inspired game of Spot Your Local Priest in Rome.

From Our Rome Desk

...actually, our Rome ristorante:

The Cloister breaks its week's end silence to draw pilgrims' notice to the almost palpable excitement at the appointment of Dr. Anthony Fisher to the See of Parramatta; and the much attempting to convey the impression that "I knew, of course, some time ago."

So it is not just the Parramatta Diocese website that has a "New Look Coming Soon".

A big diocese with a disproportionately large bureaucratic machine, we wish Dr Fisher well in his new pastoral ministry: there's a lot of inertia to overcome.

Name & Shame

I have had a few emails about this.

Apparently the number of children born in the Sydney Suburb of Point Piper in 2009 was only twelve. That's right

12!

Point Piper, from all information I have gathered, is not a gated retirement community, but a well populated (and affluent) Sydney suburb.

Australia, don't complain when the place goes to the dogs if you won't have any children.

Stung by Tradition

Unlike some others I was not nursing a hangover on the first day of 2010 and spent some time in the evening watching the ABC on the small box. It's funny how you can't stand Kerry O'Brien but miss him when someone else is host.



However interviewed on that day on the 7.30 Report was Sting. Here's a taste:

SCOTT BEVAN: This time around you're playing grand churches. What's that like for you as both a performer and a self-declared agnostic?

STING: Well, agnostic in Greek means "I don't know", which is - you know, I don't know. I have a faith in something grander than human beings can conceive. This is what I - I feel it's there. I can't put a name to it. I certainly don't know whether God's a Catholic or Episcopalian or Islamic or anything else, but I'm a spiritual person. I think deeply about why we're here. I have no idea why we're here. I'd like to find out. I was brought up in a Catholic family, very devout. We had this tortured man on the wall everywhere - in the rooms we lived in, in the school where we were taught. Again, I have a very ambivalent relationship with the Church.

At the same time, I'm grateful for a lot of the imagery that I've used creatively in my songwriting. I love church music. I love it. I love Gregorian chants. I used to love the Latin mass. Hadn't a clue what I was saying, but I used to love the music of it. I was an altar boy. I thought I looked pretty cute in my little white surplus (sic). It was a piece of theatre. Playing in cathedrals is a wonderful thing. You know, cathedrals were not just places for devotional practice, they were the centre of the community for music, for art, theatre, architecture, and so I feel at home there.

Let's hope the bite swells and leaves a bigger mark this time.

(Sting fans can watch the rest of the interview here.)

Dressing Down the Doogue

The summer newspapers are interesting things. Much thinner and less full of muck.

Nevertheless, as we contemplate the waning of another joyous Christmas Season I recall Geraldine Doogue's unwelcome opinion scrawled in the pages of The Australian on Christmas eve.

It contains such lines as " His (Jesus Christ's) actions ... convinced those around him that he somehow represented divine forces"

I dismissed this as the usual grease-like effluent, however it was thrilling to see that the erudite Christopher Pearson, also of The Australian, has finally given her the dressing down she deserves.

I enjoyed this poignant line "...she attempts to underwrite the new order chez Doogue by assuring us "Jesus Christ would have been pleased." This strikes me as bare faced effrontery."

We do so hope to see more of this in the future Mr. Pearson, she has been slithering around unchecked for far too long.

Geraldine - there will be a Christmas Card for you next year I promise!